God is the Master Builder of My Relationships

1. Family: Stay Connected

Key Scripture:

'Take heed to yourselves, lest your heart be deceived…' (Deuteronomy 11:16, NKJV)

Thoughts:

It's so easy to stay connected these days. Just 20 years ago the idea of sending a letter electronically seemed slightly far-fetched but now it's a daily thing. With the increase in mobile phone use no one is out of reach. This can be a blessing and a curse. A family can gather together and be pre-occupied with what's on their phone, iPad or other device of choice!

In Deuteronomy 11:16, God was speaking to the children of Israel and warned them, ‘Take heed to yourselves, lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them…’ With so many things that can distract us from serving God, have you ever thought that those things can distract you from serving one another? We have to 'take heed to ourselves' (or, as the Message translation puts it, 'be vigilant'). The Hebrew for 'heed' means ‘to guard; generally, to protect.' We need to be intentional about connecting with each other as a family (blood related or church family/friends) and protect our relationships by taking time to talk, listen and just be there for each other.

Timothy Keller says, ‘God made us in such a way that we couldn't even enjoy paradise without friends… Adam had a perfect quiet time every day for 24 hours a day. Yet he needed friends.’ Communication has always been high on God's agenda. He so desperately wants to connect with us as He knows how important it is for us to have that relationship (Revelation 3:20). It’s vital that we nurture healthy, loving relationships with our family members and those who belong to the household of faith.

Reflections:

• Look at your schedule over the next few weeks. Is there time that you can plan to catch up with your family or those closest to you?
• Can you highlight any distractions that can be put on hold so you can make time for family?
• What goals do you have for 2021? Do they include your loved ones and those who mean a lot to you?

Prayer Points:

• Ask God to help you make time for those closest to you.
• Ask God to give you creative ideas to help build connections with your family and friends.
• Thank God for the people in your life and the new friendships you will make in 2021.

Further Scriptures:

Romans 14:19; Romans 15:24; Psalm 133

2. Marriage: To Have and To Hold

Key Scripture:

Then the Lord passed by in front of him, and proclaimed, "The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth (faithfulness).” (Exodus 34:6, AMP)

Thoughts:

Do you remember the first time you saw your spouse? You may have felt like you'd just won the lottery, or felt the excitement of realising you’d found 'The One' (if you're still looking, hang in there and read on!). You might even remember where you were or what you were wearing. However it happened, I'm sure it was a memorable moment. Over time though, those fond memories of one another can quite easily diminish as the bombardment of life – work, health, kids, hobbies (to name a few) – takes its toll, and before long you only remember the shortcomings rather than those positive qualities that once attracted you to one another.

The day you walked down the aisle to make that lifelong commitment you may recall saying the words ‘to have and to hold, from this day forth’. In other words, you made the choice to cling to each other through the highs and lows, through the mundane and the joy that life brings your way. In Exodus 34:6, God describes Himself to Moses as ‘The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness and truth (faithfulness)'. If we are to model ourselves to be more like the Lord (that's the goal!) then those feelings of love, faithfulness and compassion should continually be working out in us, giving us the ability to cherish what we have instead of dreaming of days gone by when feelings were more favourable.

If 2020 has taught us anything it is to take the time to cherish what you have. Remember the commitment you made to one another and demonstrate it once again by holding onto and appreciating what you have.

Reflections:

• When was the last time you prayed for your spouse? Commit to remembering each other in prayer.
• What things can you change in yourself to become a better spouse?
• When was the last time you went on a date? Lockdown aside, when was the last time you spent quality time together? You can live in the same house but be worlds apart. If it's been a while, why not put a date in the diary, put the kids to bed early and make it happen! Enjoying a special home cooked meal (without interruption!) still counts as a date.

Prayer Points:

• Pray for unity in your relationship.
• Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any hidden area in your life that would hinder unity in your marriage.
• Ask God to help you use your words wisely, to build up and not tear down.

Further Scriptures:

Ephesians 4:2-3; Psalm 143:8; 1 Peter 4:8

3. Children: One Last Time!

Key Scripture:

Gentle words cause life and health… (Proverbs 15:4, TLB)

Thoughts:

If you heard the words 'That's it young lady/man, one last time…’ when you were a child, you knew when you were in trouble! You had pushed some invisible boundary and gone too far, caused a high level of irritation and received your final warning. Children have a way of pushing their parents’ buttons, right? They can even catch you off guard and unleash another level of irritation on an already stressful day.

When I heard that warning from my parents, the chances were I was heading for trouble because I deserved it. But there are times when our children fall foul to strong words just because we are already juggling so much in life. It might be your job, family matters, financial worries, not to mention being in lockdown! Jesus told His disciples, ‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world’ (John 16:33). Trouble can find its way into all kinds of different places – and especially our homes – so it's important that we bring Jesus into our parenting.

When your child messes up and you need to bring discipline you should respond appropriately: kids need to know boundaries. But when you're under pressure and the last thing you want to hear is shrieks, cries, tears and tantrums, why not ask the Holy Spirit to help you to find a response that offers them a bit of grace. Don't overreact, respond. Your child needs to see your love, feel your embrace and be given the chance to hear 'One last time...'

Reflections:

• When was the last time you told your children you love them? Today is a good day to start.
• How does your child see you respond when pressure in the home is high? Do you need to make an adjustment? Remember, your children watch and learn from you.
• Do your children see or hear you pray and worship? Show them that Jesus has an important role in your home.

Prayer Points:

• Thank God for the wonderful family He's given you.
• Ask God for wisdom to help you nurture and teach your children in the ways of the Lord.
• Ask God to protect your children and that He will use them for His glory.

Further Scriptures:

Isaiah 54:13; Ephesians 6:4; Deuteronomy 6:6-7

4. Friendships

Key Scripture:

A man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24, NKJV)

Thoughts:

We are not made to be alone. God, the master builder, designed us to be relational: not just marital and family relationships, but friendships as well. Friendships fill the gaps in our lives, providing us with a wide variety of support, love and entertainment.

Though not everyone in life (even in church) will be your best friend, we are to have a friendly attitude towards those whom we come across. The Bible has much to say about friendship and provides great examples of godly relationships that we are to pursue and emulate.

David and Jonathan stand out as a great example of what an authentic friendship should consist of: love, loyalty and transparency. ‘The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul’ (1 Samuel 18).

Moses and Aaron formed a great bond that complimented each other's weaknesses. By working together they accomplished one of the greatest rescues of all time.

Elisha wisely yoked himself to Elijah to form a holy and devoted friendship with his mentor. Elisha responded to Elijah's declaration that he was leaving for Bethel by stating, ‘As the Lord lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you’ (2 Kings 2:2).

Ruth's friendship with Naomi was built on loyalty, unconditional love and self-sacrifice (Ruth 1:16-17).

The ultimate example of friendship comes through our Lord and Saviour's relationship with mankind: ‘Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends’ (John 15:13).

Reflections:

• My friends will ultimately shape my future, whether good or bad. 'Show me your friends and I will show you your future'.
• We should base our friendships not upon where we are from, but where we are going.
• Are my friends adding value to my life?
• We can't afford to entertain friendships which are divisive towards the place of our planting. Choose to invest in friendships with likeminded people who have a desire to build God's house.
• To attract great friends one must first become that great friend.

Prayer Points:

• Pray that people who are new to church find good friends within the house.
• Pray that friendships formed in church will grow broader, deeper, stronger and more resilient. Pray that they will walk together in the house of the Lord for life.
• Spend time bringing your friends before the Lord in prayer.

Further Scriptures:

Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 12:26; Titus 3:13; Proverbs 18:24; 1 Samuel 18:1-4; Proverbs 18:24; Proverbs 27:5-6; Proverbs 27:17; 1 Corinthians 15:33; 2 Corinthians 6:14; James 4:4

5. Church Family

Key Scripture:

‘I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.’ (Genesis 12:3, NLT)

‘God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.’ (Psalm 68:6, NLT)

Thoughts:

The family unit is God's masterpiece plan and design, both in the physical and in the spiritual. The New Testament refers to the church not as an organisation, society or group, but rather as a household and family (Galatians 6:10; Ephesians 2:19; Ephesians 3:14-15).

Harvest City Church consists of people from different countries, diverse languages, tastes, and walks of life, yet the glorious truth that unites us is that we all have the same Father, and this makes us a church family.

I’m sure you’ve come across the saying, ‘blood is thicker than water’, which implies that the physical family you are born into should take the highest precedence. However, the spotless spiritual covenant bloodline of Christ that unites us as a church family is far thicker and greater than any natural bloodline. When Jesus was informed that his mother and brothers were waiting for Him, He clearly defined His family as ‘those who do the will of God' (Matthew 12:46-50), emphasising the fact that spiritual family takes precedence.

‘Your spiritual family is even more important than your physical family because it will last forever. Our families on earth are wonderful gifts from God, but they are temporary and fragile.' – Rick Warren

Where we are going is far greater than where we came from. I have many blood relatives who I am totally unconnected to in the spiritual sense. It is only through my church family that I find the common spiritual kinship that connects me to life in the Kingdom of God.

Reflections:

• Do I honour and obey my spiritual parents by listening and heeding their wise counsel and instruction? As in any family unit there has to be parental headship.
• Do I endeavour to be there whenever and however my church family meets? We should never choose to miss any church family gatherings, regardless of whether or not they are our particular style or taste. Lay aside your preferences for the good of the whole family. It is of paramount importance that we come together as a family to build God's Kingdom each and every time we meet.

Prayer Points:

• Pray for our spiritual parents, Pastor Chip and Sarah. As the head of the family is blessed, so will the rest of the family be blessed.
• Pray for our church family to grow deeper and stronger in relationship and fellowship with one another.
• Pray God's blessing and favour upon the groups of people in church – married couples, lone parents, single people, children, etc.
• Pray for more people to come and find their place to belong and serve within the church family.

Further Scriptures:

Ephesians 6:1; Hebrews 10:25; Ephesians 2:19-22; Hebrews 13:17; Galatians 6:10; Ephesians 2:19; Ephesians 3:14-15; 1 Timothy 3:15; Ephesians 6:1-2

6. Neighbours

Key Scripture:

'Love your neighbor as yourself…' (Mark 12:31, NLT)

Thoughts:

The word 'neighbour' can be simply understood as being someone who is 'neigh’ (near) your 'bour' (dwelling). We all have neighbours, people we come across in our daily lives who dwell in close proximity to us.

Jesus defined what a true neighbour is through the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29-37). Remember that there were distinct racial and social strains between the Jews and Samaritans, but like the man on the side of the road, our neighbour is anyone in need that we are in a position to show mercy to and help, irrespective of race, colour, creed or social standing.

Jesus concludes this well-known parable by laying down the mandate for us to do likewise. We are called to the best of our ability to love, to show mercy and to assist those we encounter in our daily lives, whether that is a stranger in need who we’re meeting for the first time, a co-partner within our church family, a colleague at the next desk, or simply those who live next door to us.

Reflections:

• Am I the neighbour that I would like to have?
• Do I show concern for the wellbeing of my neighbours, without being intrusive?
• Do I show consideration, patience, grace and understanding? Do I gracefully offer constructive criticism when required?
• Do I look for opportunities to bless my neighbours? You could cover work for a colleague who’s struggling or needs to leave early, or offer your services to someone who finds it physically hard to maintain their garden. You can contribute to Acts of Kindness, offer lifts (when safe to do so), make phone calls and pray for one another.
• Do I look to build a good rapport with those who are not of the faith to make it easier to connect them to the Lord? Ruth and I are thankful that we were able to build a good practical rapport with our next-door neighbour, Jenny, which helped us to lead her to the Lord in a local hospice where she was seeing out the last few days of her life.

Prayer Points:

• Pray that the neighbours you come across at work or school, and the people who you regularly interact with will come to know Jesus as Lord and Saviour.
• Pray for opportunities and openings where you can share your faith with your neighbours who don't know the Lord.
• Pray for peace and protection for your neighbourhood. God has called you to stand in the gap.

Further Scriptures:

Matthew 7:12; Proverbs 25:17; Proverbs 11:12; Proverbs 27:14; 1 Corinthians 10:24; Proverbs 3:28; Romans 13:10; Mark 12:31; Galatians 6:10

7. Work Colleagues

Key Scripture:

So that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:15, NLT)

Thoughts:

We spend approximately a third of our time at work to earn a living, most often with a diverse range of people from different walks of life who we have to relate to in order to achieve our employer’s goals. I firmly believe that God has placed us in our jobs and businesses not just to earn money, gain provision and for career accomplishment, but also for the purpose of making an influential difference by shining the light of Christ to the people with whom we work, serve and trade.

One of the most unfortunate things I have ever witnessed in the workplace occurred several years ago when a colleague who would openly confess his Christian faith behaved unethically by disappearing from the office floor for several consecutive Friday afternoons, leaving others to pick up his work. A couple of other colleagues – who had no interest in Christ – justifiably questioned: 'I thought that so-and-so was meant to be a Christian, so how can he do this?’

The most powerful witness for Christ within the workplace is the way we conduct ourselves, as often our lifestyle is the only Bible our colleagues will ever read. The people around us watch and mark what we say and do to see if it aligns with our Christian confession.

Reflections:

• Do I appreciate the great privilege and opportunities that God has set before me to make a difference for Christ with the people I interact with daily at work?
• Do my work/business ethics and attitude reflect a good Christian witness to my colleagues?
• Do I work without reproach, with a helpful and kind attitude that refrains from engaging in all manner of gossip, negativity and criticism towards my colleagues, bosses and the firm that employs me?
• Am I concerned enough about the eternal spiritual welfare of those with whom I work to bring them often before the Lord in prayer and seek opportunities to share my faith with them?

Prayer Points:

• Pray that God will give you the strength and grace to deal wisely with difficult colleagues whose speech and conduct can, at times, be perplexing.
• Pray for your work colleagues and managers by name, that they would come to know Christ as their own personal Lord and Saviour.
• Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and boldness when the right opportunities arise to share your faith with colleagues and to invite them to church meetings.

Further Scriptures:

Genesis 39:5; Matthew 5:16; Colossians 3:23; Philippians 2:15; 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12; 1 Peter 3:15